Dave's posts with tag: words
This is an e-mail forward that I came across. It claims to be from the Washington Post Mensa Invitational for 2006 (or 2005 in some versions). A quick internet search seems to suggest that no such competition exists, but it was still fairly entertaining. There was a small handful of versions on offer so I went with one of the more complete ones, although several of them seem to have been added later on. I particularly like 1, 2, 11 and most of the neologisms.
New Words:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time
2. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with
3. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly
4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid
6. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
7. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it
8. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
9. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness
10. Karmageddon (n.): It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
12. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action
13. Dopeler effect: (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web
15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out
16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating
New Neologisms:
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your night gown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
(Apologies if someone's already posted this. I used the search and found nothing but that's about as relevant as saying that I looked out the window and didn't see it)
Link: http://graduates.lovells.com/nextstep/interactivetests.shtmlIn the middle of applying for vacation scheme placements for the summer, it was quite nice to find this distracting little mental test. I did pretty badly the first time, but I attribute part of that to being frazzled by the sheer number of forms I'd been filling out.
 Link: http://www.popcap.com/gamepopup.php?theGame=typersharkThis is my latest addiction. As opposed to most of my others, it has actually been slightly benefitial, in that it has definitely improved my typing speed and accuracy of touch typing. I can get off the map comfortably on hard, and progress until the really awkward sharks turn up on expert. X-treme mode still kicks my ass though. 
| |
|
